MUSIC

Over the past year, I've been working on a solo project - a vulnerable yet exhilarating journey that's taught me so much. The album, "This Hard Is Forever," embraces life's recurring lessons and the growth that comes from facing challenges. Like its title, the songs carry mixed messages about the beautiful complexity of being human.

Releasing this work feels like walking naked through a mall food court - completely exposing. Yet the real joy lies in the creative process itself: catching a whisper of an idea and transforming it into something tangible. While I can't pinpoint its exact genre, these varied, sometimes unexpected songs bring me immense delight, and I'm excited to share them with you.

Just A Little- This song is about confronting the reality of living with a brain that feels wired for perfectionism, fear, doubt, and shame. If you’ve experienced hypervigilance, critical self-talk, or a lack of self-love, you might relate. For a long time, I resisted this part of myself, frustrated by the unnecessary suffering it brought. But over the years, I’ve come to understand that while this is the brain I’ve been dealt, it’s not unchangeable. Little by little, with patience and practice, I’ve been learning to push back against those voices of doubt and shame. It’s not about perfect solutions—it’s about small, consistent steps forward. “Just a Little” is my reminder to myself that even the smallest effort, every single day, can make a difference. 🎶 “All my life, I never met…a better fighter than my doubt…Yet here I stand singing to you…Just a little, just a little…”. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone—and that even small steps can add up to something beautiful. 💛

Power Couple - This past year brought unprecedented challenges, affecting our work, community, and my creative pursuits. My husband and I faced complex circumstances that we largely had to navigate alone, despite support from friends and professionals. It will likely be remembered as our "before and after" year, marked by significant grief and loss that we're still processing. Yet, as often happens with life's difficulties, it crystallized what truly matters – particularly the strength of our 28-year partnership. Through each challenge, we've emerged more resilient, both as a couple and as individuals. I'm deeply proud of how we've supported each other through our different processing styles and needs, united by our commitment to personal growth and positive impact on others. This experience inspired my song "Power Couple," celebrating our ability to face any challenge together, regardless of the obstacles thrown our way.

Wildfire - This song explores the painful journey of recognizing the limits of love and support in the face of someone else's personal struggles. The song emerged from years of trying to be a steadfast support for a friend battling their inner demons, constantly adjusting and accommodating in hopes of helping them heal and grow. I had convinced myself that with enough patience and self-sacrifice, I could somehow shield them from their own destructive patterns. Yet, as the metaphor of wildfire suggests, some forces of nature can't be contained by sheer will or good intentions. The realization hit hard - that despite my best efforts, their internal struggles would continue to spark and spread, leaving both of us scarred in the process. The track transforms this deeply personal experience into a universal message about the boundaries of responsibility in relationships, acknowledging the devastating feeling of watching someone you care about continue to struggle while embracing the liberating truth that we can't force healing on others - they must choose their own path to recovery.

Alpha Dog- A powerful anthem born from a deeply familiar and frustrating experience shared by many women. The song uses an intentionally campy musical style to deliver its pointed message about gender bias. The track emerged from countless experiences of being the overlooked leader - from being constantly interrupted, dismissed or ignored. Taking inspiration from pioneering women throughout history who worked brilliantly "behind the scenes" while men took credit, the song transforms these frustrations into a rebellious celebration. What makes it particularly special is its communal aspect - gathering strong women together, creating a powerful chorus of voices. This element transforms personal frustration into shared catharsis, using humor and attitude to challenge the persistent assumption that leadership must be male. The song's hook-laden, in-your-face style perfectly matches its message: that sometimes the best response to being persistently underestimated is to push back with both wit and bite.

Letting Go - This song explores the emotional complexity of evolving beyond one's religious and cultural upbringing, weaving together nostalgic childhood memories with the reality of relationships transformed by different worldviews. Through evocative imagery and raw honesty, it captures both the enduring love and profound grief that come with accepting the limitations of family bonds. Using poignant metaphors about perception and understanding, the song acknowledges the challenge of maintaining connections when people see the same situation so differently. While celebrating the personal growth that comes from following one's own path, it also mourns the dreams of what these relationships could have been. The recurring theme of acceptance forms the emotional core of the piece - accepting that some gaps cannot be bridged, while still honoring the love that remains.

Kids -I wrote "Kids" to explore how deeply childhood conditioning shapes who we become as adults, drawing on both my own experiences and observations of those close to me. Using cosmic metaphors about gravity and space, I wanted to capture how these patterns feel both vast and inescapable. The song weaves between childhood memories and adult struggles, reflecting how our early programming shows up in relationships and reactions. Watching someone I care about wrestle with their own conditioning and trauma inspired the central metaphor "We're just kids running in adult skins" - that moment of recognition when you see both the grown person and the wounded child they carry. Having faced my own conditioning through therapy and self-work, I've learned that awareness itself becomes a tool for change, letting us challenge these inherited patterns and grow into healthier versions of ourselves.